


Of Course I Do

by hiraiyubi



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, Songfic, based off of sweater weather by the neighborhood, first angst pic lets go!!!!, im not good at angst don't expect the best, love that song..., maybe listen to the song while reading idk, mimo isnt tragic this time!!! we're changing it up, songfic????, tragic jeongmi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 10:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13455924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiraiyubi/pseuds/hiraiyubi
Summary: "'Cause it's too cold for you here."Mina shudders as she presses closer to her girlfriend."And now so let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater."She lets her eyes slip close as she sighs to the rythm of the fan.





	Of Course I Do

" Do you ever think about us?"

Mina lifted her head slightly from where it had laid on her girlfriend's sweatshirt-clad shoulder, taking in the cold air. She blew out a puff of air, watching as nearby papers rustled softly from the repetitive spin of the fan. Mina tugged at her sleeves, pursing her lips as she finally turned up to meet the other girl's longing gaze. " What do you mean?"

The girl kicked her legs under her, crossing them on top of the couch to warm her now-icy feet. She pulled her hood over her head, her short, blonde, ruffled, mess-of-a hair peeking out from behind the clothes. " I mean, do you ever think about me when I'm not here." She continued to stare down at her girlfriend who had now gone back to her spot on her shoulder. She pushed away the warming sensation growing in the center of her chest with an inward sigh.

"Of course I do, " Mina paused to lift the girl's arm over her own shoulders, " Do you think about me, Jeongyeon?"

Jeongyeon stilled while she looked deep into Mina's deep, dark eyes. How could she not think about her? She thought about her when she was asleep, awake, at work, in class, while walking, while drinking, while crying, while eating. She thought about her soft lips and her soft eyes. Her hair that tickled the sides of her face when Mina would sleep over at her apartment and would hug her nice and close. She thought about her velvety sweaters she'd wear everyday in fall and in winter. Her gentle voice she'd use to soothe her to bed. Her hands she held that one time her mother called her and told her childhood friend had passed away. The arms of hers that would encircle her own and her body when she was feeling sad or couldn't hold in her happiness for another second. Her gummy smile, the moles that would fold and dance at the scrunch of her nose. The arch and crease and loop and every corner of her warm body. Everything about her, everything about Mina she thought about on a daily basis that she knew her brain was tired of repeating the same words over and over again.

Jeongyeon wrapped her other arm around Mina's waist and smiled lightly at the girl next to her. " Of course I do, Mina," she breathed out.

 

_"...And these hearts adore,_

_Everyone the other beats heart is for,_

_Inside the place is warm,_

_Outside it starts to pour..."_

 

Jeongyeon's body froze in horror.

There in front of her, right in front of her where her eyes caught the scene in full vision. Where her heart stopped and her knees started to slacken. Her hands shake and her eyes water with the tears that would soon spill once she was safe back in the comfort of her room. Next to the photos pinned over her bed on the wall. Where the yellow-tinted polaroid would laugh in her face as she sobbed on her bed. The bed she spent nights up until she couldn't remember how to count time with the girl she thought loved her more than the growing Earth. The girl who would tangle her legs round hers and smother her in loving kisses and snug hugs. The girl who had her heart the second she smiled at her in the museum she was forced to attend for her literature class. The girl who would sit on the monkey bars with her in the afternoon and listen hours on end about anything and everything. The girl who'd run alongside her in the open buzz of every single summer day. There she was, holding another girl how she held her when they first met. Holding another girl like she was so precious and so fragile that too harsh of hand would break her every bone. There she was, kissing her like the moment would never end. There Mina was with her hands around another girl's waist like she did with Jeongyeon.

Mina released the other girl's lips and grinned out her like she was her everything. Jeongyeon couldn't help but think about how she smiled at her like that yesterday or every single day the week before. Last week, a Saturday, when Mina smiled like she always did and told her that she always was thinking of her. Every day, every second, every minute.

Mina turns away from the other, still holding her waist, and directs her eyes straight at Jeongyeon. Her expression dropping almost immediately at the sight of her girlfriend standing there and staring with a blank face. She drops her hand from the girl and scuttles over to the girl watching her afar as fast as she can.

"Jeongyeon..." she breathed out along with a warm puff of air that probably came from the contact she just shared with another person.

The said girl slowly lifted her head to meet her anxious face. "...Mina."

"Jeongyeon I"

The taller cuts her off, small tears feeling cold at the corners of her eyes. " How could you do to this to me?"

Mina clasps her hands together tightly, suddenly interested in the pink flush of her fingertips instead of answering the girl in front of her.

"How could you kiss another girl, Mina?" Jeongyeon nears the other as she berates her with questions, " how could you hold her like that? Look at her like that? Things you use to do for me _only? "_

" Can we talk about this at your place?" Mina asks as she teeths at her lips, ignoring the bitter taste of lipgloss seeping onto her tongue and plaguing the roof of her mouth.

Jeongyeon sighs, out loud, as she steps away from Mina, "Sure," she runs an agitated hand through her now-brown hair, " whatever. Just meet me there later tonight. Don't come if you don't want to, I won't care."

She would care.

 

_"...She knows what I think about,_

_And what I think about..."_

 

Jeongyeon stayed in the kitchen for hours, fluctuating between standing near the kitchen sink and sitting down at the counter with her homework sprawled out in front of her. She groaned into her hands as she dragged them down her face, rubbing at her already red eyes. She hears the soft knock on the door, the fan still whirring in the empty space of her living room, the shallow breaths she was letting out ever so often. She slides her chair slowly across her floor to stalk over to the door, the weight already growing in her chest as she opened the it.

Mina let out a shaky breath," Hey."

Jeongyeon looked up through her bangs, not bothering to push them out the way. She quickly thought about how Mina would have done it for her if they weren't currently in this predicament."Hi," she opened her door wider, " you can come in if you want."

She shuffled into the doorframe and out of the hall, pausing as she looked down at the white, old shoe rack that still held her old pair of chucks that Jeongyeon picked out for her two Valentine's Days ago. She pried her eyes away from it, trying to stop herself from going off on a tangent, to look up at the other.

"You don't have to take your shoes off, Min"

Mina finally met her gaze this time as her name slipped off the other's tongue. She inwardly flinched at Jeongyeon's expression, a cold stare lined heavily with remnants of regret and despair. The worst thing about it was that it was aimed at her. She could tell, Jeongyeon didn't dare try and look her in the face, wanting to flick her eyes everywhere except for her. Landing on the ankle socks with the tiny red heart on it peeking out of the tennis shoes on the rack.

"Why'd you do it?"

Mina brought her attention back on Jeongyeon. "I..." her words fell short. Why did she do it? She couldn't answer that, not even to herself.

"Is it okay if you still stay with me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you still love me?"

"Of course I do."

"Then stay with me."

Mina stayed silent for a quick second. " Do you really want to do that, Jeongyeon? I'd understand if you just wanted to break up with me, I cheated on you."

"Well, then don't cheat on me again." Jeongyeon waited for her girlfriend to respond again, but alas looks like she lost her voice all of a sudden. "What? Do you like that girl?" she grabbed at Mina's wrist, " do you like her more than _me? "_

The other stared into her eyes, wordlessly searching for an answer in the back of her mind somewhere. "No." _Yes,_ Mina relapsed to herself right after.

Jeongyeon let go of her, "Okay." She stood there staring into the other girl's eyes, not tearing away her gaze until she excused herself to leave. She turned away from the closed door once locked, she inhaled the words she spit out in the short conversation she just had. Her thoughts gliding over the unspoken words they both shared, the things they should've, would've said. The no's and the yes's, the maybe's, the I don't know's. The last question rung in her hand like the church bell she heard every time Mina would drag her to the mall and winter festivals around Christmas and New Year's. _" Do you like her more than me?"_ The silence after that replayed in her head, almost looping for longer than it actually lasted in real time. _"No."_ Jeongyeon chuckled under her breath, she knew if Mina were to speak her mind, if she wasn't so gentle, so scared of the future, of what would happen afterwards. She knew she would have said yes.

 

_"...One love, two mouths,_

_One love, one house,_

_No shirt, no blouse,_

_Just us, you find out..."_

 

Jeongyeon relished in the way Mina's lips felt against her, the way her heat spread through her body. Brushing over her frosted fingertips, enveloping her cheeks in a seething heat. Almost like a metal pan on a stovetop, a cup of water boiling over the brim of it's cup in the microwave, bruising, hot water rushing over her hands while she does the dishes. The noise of the fan flitting her papers everywhere play in the background and Jeongyeon clutches her paranoia as she smells the spicy perfume on Mina's sweater. It's not her normal perfume, she'd know. She remembers vividly that she bought her Versace Bright Crystal perfume once for their anniversary and Mina wouldn't stop wearing it since then. This fragrance was different, it attacked her senses and reminded her nothing of the sweet, light smell she was use to on the girl. It reminded her of fire, flames or something like curtling heat, Jeongyeon couldn't help but wonder if this is what that mystery girl smelled like. If this is what the girl that snatched Mina from her smelled like. She absolutely hated both, the tangy perfume and the thief-like girl.

Mina leaned away from Jeongyeon's lips, pecking at the corners of them before going back to her book that still laid perfectly in her lap. Like she hadn't moved a single bit in the past twenty movements, like she was a robot that just came and went. Only doing this and that, providing the needs of whoever asked her. Jeongyeon stared, lost in thought, at Mina's crouching figure next to her on the couch.

"Who is she?"

"Who's who?"

"The girl."

"...Doesn't matter."

Jeongyeon sat up from the back cushion, her hands gripping at the fabric below her. "What do you mean 'Doesn't matter'? Don't you think I deserve to know?"

"No."

Jeongyeon opened her mouth to snap back at her, but shut it promptly, leaning back on the cushion of her couch seat. She huffed quietly as she returned to glancing around the space of her living room, boredly. She gazed over Mina's papers, noticing her scribbly, yet neat, princess-like, cursivey handwriting at the top of each page. She recalls that when Mina and her use to take a biology class together, they'd always sit by each other. Jeongyeon would write tiny doodles in the corners of all her girlfriend's notes and she would draw heart after heart on Mina's hands and arms, all varying in sizes. She looked over into the corner of one of the girl's papers curiously, there instead of Jeongyeon's signature heart drawn in red gel pen every time was a girl's name in sparkly marker. She examined it closer, squinting without the aid of her contacts. _Huh,_ she said in a dull voice to herself.

_"Hirai Momo."_

 

_"...I don't mind if there's not much to say,_

_Sometimes the silence guides our minds..."_

 

Jeongyeon couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What did you say?"

"I said I think we should break up."

"But, _why?_ Mina, I thought we were doing so well. I"

Mina was already grabbing at her jacket, " _No_ , Jeongyeon. You know this isn't good for us, " she slid on her jacket over her purple sweater, " isn't good for you."

"We can make it work," Jeongyeon was nearing Mina's side of the room in a pleading manner, " _please,_ Mina, _I can make it work."_

"No, I've been dating someone else for a month now, as you already know. She's been patient with me, I have to break it off with you. I'm sorry it was either now or yesterday when I left your apartment, except I wouldn't come back the next day."

"Do you still love me?"

Mina pursed her lips, gliding her hand through her freshly-cut locks, "Of course I do."

"Then kiss me before you go."

The other girl stopped dead in her place, pursing at her lips harder and fidgeting with her fingers. "Sure. Why not." She leaned in to kiss her one last time, with her hands cupping Jeongyeon's face and her hair brushing over the sides of her face. She dragged her hands down her shoulders an circled them around it. Mina parted with one last small peck.

"Did you love me when we first started dating, Jeongyeon?"

Jeongyeon's glasses were already in her hands, pulled off of her face as her eyes balled months and days and seconds and weeks and breaths and sighs of tears that she held back. That she held back when she was asleep, awake, at work, in class, while walking, while drinking, while sitting, while eating. She finally cried her eye's out until she couldn't feel a single drip or ounce of water left in her system.

"Of course I did."

Mina smiled bitterly at her now ex-girlfriend, turning on her heels slowly and stopping at the shoe rack. "I did too."

With a click of the door, Mina was gone from Jeongyeon's life forever. Jeongyeon stood there and listened to the familiar whir of the fan and the rustle of paper. She felt the coldness sink into her skin and cover every inch of her body, even her lips that Mina had kissed just a second ago. As she turned her gaze onto the door in front of her, the peeling rack caught her eye.

There was Mina's red and pink tennis shoes, the pastel pink ankle socks with the heart on the top of it still leaning out of the top of the shoe.

 

 

_"Do you still love me?"_

_"Of course I do."_

  


**Author's Note:**

> FIRST ANGST FIC!!!!! how did i do?? ngl i teared up writig the end a bit. momo wasn't really mentioned much neither was mimo but eh. did you guys like it???? feedback would be appreciated!! pls comment <333 hope this oneshot didn't break anyones heart lol


End file.
